Seven years ago, I had one of the most painful situations in my life occur. My husband left me. This is not something I like to mention, because I’m more focused in what the Lord is doing in my life and is going to do in my life, then what has occurred to me. Testimony versus trials and tribulations. We glory in Him, Christ Jesus.
But during that time 2010, I was born again in 2003, but I still didn’t know know God, only what I heard about God, take the Israelites for example with Moses. You can’t live a life of intimacy with God by what you hear about Him from others. I would say I would be what they called a carnal Christian at that time. I knew about salvation for eternal life, but not salvation for the here and now, and everyday.
During the time, I didn’t see a way to keep living at that time. I had two little children, a stay at home mom, and I had NO income. I lost a lot of family and friends during that time. I was broken. I was connected with an online ministry at that time, while attending the local church, but with no fellowship. But the online ministry, I was connected with kept speaking about taking the Lord as my Husband, my Provider, my Source, and my Security. These were very foreign concepts to me. You see, we read about how God was these characteristics in the Bible to the people in the Bible, and I was one of those, who said or thought to myself, why would God want to be that for me? But I remember one night, I was crying out to the Lord, and I prayed to the Lord, I NEED YOU….. I need you to be my Husband, I need you to be my Source and Provider, I need you to be my Shield, I need you to be my Protector, I need you to be my Everything. A humble and broken-hearted, He will not refuse. It was during this time, that I immersed myself in the Word of God. Any avenue I could, I would put His Word in my eyes and ears.
But it was during this time, that God would quicken things to me through His Word. He was ordering my steps. And yes, there were times, reading the Word that it was still like stale bread to me, but even then what you partake of then will He breathe on it at a later time. But it wasn’t until He started breathing on His Word to me that it was the fresh daily manna that was giving me new life. A divine exchange was occurring. I was laying down what others and I, myself had said and done to me for what God was saying and doing for me.
Isaiah 55:8-9 “For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways,” declares the Lord. “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways And My thoughts higher than your thoughts.
Surrender is not just a once a lifetime occurrence, it’s a moment by moment occurrence.